Love Through A Crisis
by LoveNeverWantedMe
Summary: Harry attends Hogwarts High, a private school in London. There he is raped by a teacher, assigned a project with the popular but rude Draco Malfoy, and sent to find his way in life.
1. Chapter 1

**Love Trough a Crisis**

"That's the fourth assignment you've missed this month, Harry," Mr. Richards stated in a disappointed tone, "I'll see you after school?

Harry knew that no one could hear what Mr. Richards had said to him but despite that his face still flushed pink in embarrassment. Keeping his eyes to the floor he nodded his head in agreement before Mr. Richards moved on to the next student in his row.

Harry couldn't very well explain to his teacher that he was being bullied by one of the boys in his class. The boy had decided it was 'torture Harry as much as possible week' and so had not only destroyed Harry's homework for the past couple of days but had also shoved him into walls and tripped him in passing.

So far, Mr. Richards, his AP Literary teacher, was kind about it and hadn't expressed him concerns to his relatives. If he had informed Harry's relatives of his 'incapability to do and keep up with his homework' it would have surly resulted in a beating when he returned for the holidays.

You see, Harry's parents died in a car crash when he was at the tender age of 1. He survived because his mother used her body to shield him, leaving him with barley any injuries and only one scar. A lightning shaped scar now rested on his forehead and would probably never fade.

As a result of his orphanage Harry was given to his aunt, his mother's sister, and her pig of a husband, Vernon, and their whale of a son named Dudley.

As he was growing up, Harry found that his relatives hated him with quite a passion, although he knows not why, and started punishing him the 'old fashion' way at the age of 7. And thus, Harry tries to avoid making his uncle angry in any way, shape, or form.

Harry was shaken out of his musings by the voice of Mr. Richards. "Today I will be assigning a new project that will be done in pairs. You will be writing a report and giving a presentation on your specific topic. You will also be writing an illustrated short story to go along with your report. You don't have to have a picture for every page but at least have pictures of the main characters. I will assign partners now and either you or your partner will select a topic by drawing a slip of paper out of the box at the front of the room. I will warn you now, most topics are morbid, some more mild than others. If your topic hits too close to home and you're uncomfortable just let me know and we'll see what we can do about changing it. The purpose of the morbid topic is to keep you interested, rather than doing a report on the U.S. Presidents, something I'm sure you've all done," he pauses as a few students chuckled. "Now as for the partners..."

Harry zoned out until he heard his name, followed by another.

"Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy," Mr. Richards' voice said clearly and loudly.

Harry froze. He was hoping to be paired with someone less intimidating, like Hermione Granger, his only friend in this class. Draco Malfoy was probably the most popular boy in his grade, maybe even his school, and he, Harry Potter was paired with him for a report. Harry's mind went blank for a moment, wondering how he was going to get through his. He wasn't the most confident person and didn't know how he was going to deal with this situation. Oh well, there was no way out of it, was just going to have to get over it.

"This project should take about 3 or 4 weeks. Starting tomorrow you must sit with your partner for the duration of the project. You will pick subjects tomorrow at the beginning of class and start brainstorming. I'm handing out your rubrics right now and after you receive one you may leave for your next class," Mr. Richards explained.

When Harry received his rubric Mr. Richards reminded him to see him after school. He nodded, signaling he'd be there and left for him next class.

DmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHpDmHp

Harry stood leaning against a desk at the front of the room after school waiting for Mr. Richards as he had been instructed to do. He sighed, 'Maybe he forgot about me' he thought to himself.

Waiting a few more minutes Harry decided he'd waited long enough and should probably be getting back to his dorm if he wasn't going to be speaking with Mr. Richards after school today.

"He really did forget about me," Harry spoke aloud to himself as he hoisted his backpack upon his shoulder and began to make his was out the door so he could begin his was back to his dorm.

Just before he could leave the room the door opened and Mr. Richards walked in, apologetic smile on his face.

"Sorry for making you wait, Harry. I had to convince Mr. Snape to take over detention in the auditorium so I could help you get back on track," he said, shutting the door.

The auditorium was all the way on the other side of the school and Mr. Snape is very stubborn and since most of the other teachers were either at home, in their own school dorms, or at a teacher conference there was no other option. It made sense that he was gone for so long and Harry felt relieved.

Harry nodded, mood lightening already at the fact of not being forgotten. "Oh, okay. I was afraid you'd forgotten about me or that I had missed you and you'd call my house or something. So, what are we going to do about this make up work?" Harry asked, leaning against Mr. Richards' desk.

"Well first thing first, you have to understand a few important things in order for me to help you," said Mr. Richards stepping closer to Harry.

Immediately, at those words the raven haired teen became tense. The rule of always following orders, no matter what that was beaten into his head started taking action on Harry's subconscious. He nodded in understanding and agreement.

"Alright, now that we understand each other I must tell you that you must keep in mind that you're very special," Mr. Richards said as he stood next to Harry. Looking him in the eye.

"I wouldn't help anyone else in the way I'm abut to help you so you can't tell anyone. It will bring up your grade so unless you want me to inform your relatives of what a bad boy you've been lately you must go along with everything I say and ask. Okay Harry?"

Harry looked up at Mr. Richards with wide green eyes and slumped in fear. Raising his hand he clutched Mr. Richard' sleeve, "Please don't tell them, I'll do anything, I promise."

"Good. Just remember what if you don't do as I say I'll have to contact your relatives. So if you don't ask any questions, don't tell anyone, and do as I say you will be good to go and I won't have to talk to your guardians." Mr. Richards explained again with a strange glint in his eyes.

Harry nodded and just watched for Mr. Richards' instructions. He watched as Mr. Richards softly started to caress and stroke his cheek. His browns knitted in confusion but he kept his mouth closed.

"You're so beautiful Harry," he paused, placing his hands on Harry's hip, "Sit on the desk for me, love."

Hesitantly, Harry complied and waited for further demands.

Gripping Harry's hips Mr. Richards roughly shoved his chapped lips upon Harry's soft and un-responding velvet ones.

Harry panicked. He didn't know what to do, how to even respond. This was his first kiss, let alone a kiss with a man, and his LA teacher at that!

Mr. Richards pulled back before Harry could make a decision on how to respond. "The more effort you give, the higher the grade, Harry. Just keep that in mind," he said before going back to the assault on the youth's lips.

Listening to his words, Harry began to tensely move his lips to match that of his teacher's.

The older man groaned in pleasure deep in his throat before becoming more demanding. His hands began to pull the tucked-in shirt from the pants and swift fingers un buttoned the shirt carefully.

Harry was tense. What was he doing? What had he gotten himself into? As he teacher undid the buttons to his shirt he trembles, not in pleasure, but in complete and utter fear. He knew he had to go along to remain at Hogwarts and away from his awful relatives, but was this worth it? Could he let him teacher touch his like this and let him take advantage of his situation at home?

Harry didn't have time to think it through properly before he realized his shirt was completely removed and Mr. Richards was making his way down to his nipple lightly with his tongue and roughly bit the small nub, repeating the process to the other.

His LA teacher rose from his nipples and leaned over to whisper in his ear, "Strip me naked, you dirty little slut." He then licked the shell of Harry's ear, causing him to tremble in disgust before moving Harry's hands to his tie. Harry gulped loudly swallowing his nervousness disgust in one gulp. His trembling fingers began to work on the green tie Mr. Richards was wearing. A minute later, due to clumsy fingers, the tie fell softly to the classroom floor.

"Now my shirt and pants whore," the elder of the two demanded in his controlling voice. Immediately, Harry complied, placing his fingers upon the shirt buttons and hesitantly undoing them. The words Mr. Richards was calling him, slut and whore made him feel degraded and even more unworthy of life. He knew it would be hell to get through this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** So sorry that I totally forgot my disclaimer in my first quiz and since I'm not on the same computer I can't just add it and then reload it. Anyway, here's my disclaimer now. I own utterly nothing although I would give my limbs to own Harry and Draco and make them do the nasty all night long, haha.

**A/N:** I know this chapter is short but originally this was supposed to be part of the first chapter but I didn't have time to type it and figure out how to upload it all before my parents got home since I'm not allowed online during the week. Hopefully I can get this one out with no problems and start typing the third chapter on Sunday or sometime this week. I think it's only fair that I give my fans (At least I'd like to call you my fans) a warning about what's going to be going on in two weeks. I will be moving in two weeks and won't have a computer for anywhere between a month and two. However, I most likely will be able to use a laptop so I'll be able to update I just don't know how long it will take me. I most likely won't update the first week that I move because it's our settling in time and I'm going to gymnastics for 4 hours everyday for a week (Yippee!). Anyway, I just wanted you to know all of that and without any further delay, here's the second chapter.

**Love Through a Crisis**

**Chapter Two**

Now they both were topless and still not done yet. "My pants," Mr. Richards reminded him. Gritting his teeth, Harry undid the button and zipper to his pants then slowly slid them off. As he watched Mr. Richards step out of his pants he noticed his shoes were already removed. He must have slipped out of them when Harry wasn't paying attention.

Now only left is his boxers Mr. Richards reached for Harry's black pants, undoing the button and zipper. Harry sat frozen, scared to the point where he didn't fully register what Mr. Richards said, "Raise you hips." When Harry didn't respond his teacher became angry. The next sensation Harry felt was a stinging pain across his cheek. The feeling brought Harry back to reality. Mr. Richards had struck his face with his large manly hands, Harry realized. Harry turned widened green eyes on his teacher to meet the anger filled face of his teacher. "I don't like having to repeat myself," he said harshly directly in Harry's face. "Now raise you hips."

Harry knew better than to refuse and bid as his teacher requested. Mr. Richards' cold, clammy, hands trailed from his hips and down to his legs, bringing his pants and underwear along with them. Goosebumps rose on Harry's skin, whether they were from the coldness of his LA teacher's hand's or disgust and fear, he couldn't tell for certain.

"My boxers now, bitch," Mr. Richards demanded. With shaking hands Harry obliged, bringing them both in the nude.

Leaning back in, Mr. Richards started licking and biting at Harry's neck. Making darks marks on Harry's pale skin, Mr. Richards started feeling along the desk until he found what he was looking for. Taking the small bottle in his hands not pausing in his assault on Harry's neck, he untwisted the top and poured a small amount of the contents into his palms. Spreading the liquid in his hands, he lubed up his hard cock and smeared some on Harry's entrance.

Mr. Richards circled it Harry's entrance with his finger until he pushed it in.

'It will all be over soon. Then I'll be safe,' Harry thought to himself. Mr. Richards added another finger making Harry uncomfortable and in a little pain. Be began scissoring his finger inside of Harry. 'It will be over soon. Then I'll be safe,' Harry thought to himself for a second time. Removing his fingers Mr. Richards stopped his assault on Harry's neck and moved so that his shaft was positioned at the entrance of Harry's hole.

Harry began to tremble, 'Just a little bit longer and it will all be over. I'll be safe soon.' In one thrust, Mr. Richards sheathed his throbbing organ into Harry. Harry let out a soft scream and a whimper following it.

Mr. Richards waited a moment to get himself under control before he began moving. 'It will all be over soon. Then I'll be safe,' Harry kept chanting in his mind as he began to bite his lip until blood dripped down his chin.

Mr. Richards started out slow.

'It will be over soon.'

He began to pick up speed.

'Just a little longer until I'm safe.'

Now he was pounding deeply into Harry's arse, making small amounts of blood leak from his arse.

'It will be over soon.'

His pounding became irregular, Mr. Richards was close.

'Just a little longer and I'll be safe.'

Before Mr. Richards let himself cum he pulled out of Harry's tight and pulsing arse. He pulled at Harry so he would be kneeling painfully on the floor.

Holding Harry's head in one hand he began to beat off erratically with the other, breathing heavily. His breathing became even more labored as his hand worked faster and streams of cum pumped out and onto Harry's cringing face. As Mr. Richards started to get himself under control Harry just sat there, blood in small portions seeping slowly out of his abused hole. Cum covering his face and with a completely blank look.

As Harry sat there, Mr. Richards started to dress silently and as if nothing had happened out of the ordinary. Harry sat, staring off into space, mind blank and emotionless.

"Clean yourself up before you leave," Mr. Richards said, heading for the door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob. Turning with a grin on his twisted lips he says, "By the way, now whenever we're alone you can call me Tom." He winked with his dark eyes and turned back around and shut the door after him.

Minutes passed until finally tears welled up in Harry's eyes. It was even time before those tears started to leak out of those eyes. Slowly he began to curl into a ball, right there on the floor, smearing the blood that leaked from his abused boys onto his thigh and shaking with his quiet sobs. His arms wrapped around his knees which were drawn up to this naked body, fingernails digging into his own flesh and he sobbed for hours.

* * *

**A/N2:** I'm sorry if there are a lot of typos and things that dont make sense but I was typing this at like 2 in the morning when I couldn't sleep and then all of a sudden I got really tired and started falling asleep on it. Anyway, the third chapter should be out within a week!

Oh and I promise Draco will be in the next chapter. So review if you like the story so far, it will make me work faster!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This is juat a teaser for chapter three. In chapter three I will also be responding to reviews and I'm going to have a lot to say and explain. Enjoy the teaser until I get the next chapter out which hopefully will be by Sunday.

Love Through a Crisis

When Harry woke up the next morning he felt horrible. He hadn't felt this horrible in years. He felt as though he could throw up and his body ached all over, his throbbing head, the worst of all. He imagined that this would be how it felt to have a hangover.

He stayed lying in bed, wondering what could have made him feel so completely and utterly horrible. It was a few minutes later when the events after school came barreling back into Harry's mind. The dangerous gleam in Mr. Richard eyes, the heeling of his fingers as they whispered across this skin, the warm breath against his neck and the chilling sound of his name from his mouth were just some of the memories that flashed across Harry's senses.

Harry felt as though he couldn't get out of bed. He wanted to crawl to the corner of the room, bury his head in this arms and sleep forever so the memories would vanish and he wouldn't have to deal with the self loathing he felt coursing throughout his body.

Now matter how badly he wanted to play hooky and spend the day wallowing in his sorrow he know he couldn't. He felt as though he'd be letting his parents down. He has been sick earlier this semester and now it was really catching up to him. He couldn't afford to miss anymore time at school. Getting good grades so he'd be about to get somewhere in life was his way of proving he was at least somewhat worthy of surviving the fatal car accident.

Harry began to collect himself as he slid from underneath the warmth of his covers. "Relax, just go numb. It's okay, this isn't really happening to you. You're just a guest in someone else's subconscious," he thought to himself as he prepared himself for classes to start.

DmHpDmHpDmHp

Throughout the whole day Hermione and Ron kept asking his if he was feeling alright, if he got enough sleep, if he was stressed out. He repeatedly had to reassure, not only them, but himself that he was okay. As the day dragged on and his last class AP Lit, began to come near his body began to tense, focus began to slip and his stress levels rose.

The more he told himself to calm down the more uncomfortable and panicked he felt. It felt as though he had insects inside of his stomach trying to claw and eat their way out from the inside. The closer his feet carried him tot the room the insects assaulted his stomach even more aggressively and the paler he became.

By the time he reached the door to the room he was dangerously close to hyperventilating. How could he be expected to face this man so soon after he kept asking himself. He was expected to tough it out and go on with his life, he expected it of himself.

So preparing to enter the room he chanted 'feel numb, detach yourself, just forget everything,' in he head until it held no meaning, the words were jumbled, and his eyes were dull.

Just before he could gain full confidence in himself to get through this class the door to the room opened and Mr. Richards came out as if looking for the last minute stragglers to heard them into their seats before the bell rang.

Just as he thought he was getting himself under control a huge brick wall came and blocked out everything except those dark eyes set upon him. The shivers that ran through him at that moment had nothing to do with the chilliness of the hallway or the soft caress of a lover as they gazed lovingly into your eyes. These shivers were totally filled with uneasiness, discomfort, and worst of all, fear for the man in front of Harry. They seemed to radiate power and corruptness.

A smile spread across Mr. Richards' face as Harry stood there frozen to the spot.


	4. Chapter 4

**D**isclaimer: I wish I did, but I don't. Don't sue.

**A**/N: I will be responding to reviews individually... I'm too lazy to post them all here seeing as it's almost midnight and I have school tomorrow. However, I will say this: I'M SO SORRY! I'm sorry this took so friggin long to come out. With school, my friends back home, my dad, my mom, me getting overly depressed at random times. And my allergic reaction to my pain killers today (couldn't breath) I've just been all over the place. A gay friend of mine was beaten up last week. The week before that my friend's brother's ex-girlfriend put a hit on my friend's brother. So they beat his us with a metal baseball bat and he's in ICU... Goodness, I'm so frazzled. Bear with me, updating might be slow but know that I'm trying. School ends for me in a month so once summer starts my speed of updating will be MUCH faster. Thanks for stinking with me and thank's **FoundersChild1** for being such a great reviewer.

**Love Through a Crisis**

When Harry woke up the next morning he felt horrible. He hadn't felt this horrible in years. He felt as though he could throw up and his body ached all over, his throbbing head, the worst of all. He imagined that this would be how it felt to have a hangover.

He stayed lying in bed, wondering what could have made him feel so completely and utterly horrible. It was a few minutes later when the events after school came barreling back into Harry's mind. The dangerous gleam in Mr. Richard eyes, the heeling of his fingers as they whispered across this skin, the warm breath against his neck and the chilling sound of his name from his mouth were just some of the memories that flashed across Harry's senses.

Harry felt as though he couldn't get out of bed. He wanted to crawl to the corner of the room, bury his head in this arms and sleep forever so the memories would vanish and he wouldn't have to deal with the self loathing he felt coursing throughout his body.

Now matter how badly he wanted to play hooky and spend the day wallowing in his sorrow he know he couldn't. He felt as though he'd be letting his parents down. He has been sick earlier this semester and now it was really catching up to him. He couldn't afford to miss anymore time at school. Getting good grades so he'd be about to get somewhere in life was his way of proving he was at least somewhat worthy of surviving the fatal car accident.

Harry began to collect himself as he slid from underneath the warmth of his covers. "Relax, just go numb. It's okay, this isn't really happening to you. You're just a guest in someone else's subconscious," he thought to himself as he prepared himself for classes to start.

DmHpDmHpDmHp

Throughout the whole day Hermione and Ron kept asking his if he was feeling alright, if he got enough sleep, if he was stressed out. He repeatedly had to reassure, not only them, but himself that he was okay. As the day dragged on and his last class AP Lit, began to come near his body began to tense, focus began to slip and his stress levels rose.

The more he told himself to calm down the more uncomfortable and panicked he felt. It felt as though he had insects inside of his stomach trying to claw and eat their way out from the inside. The closer his feet carried him tot the room the insects assaulted his stomach even more aggressively and the paler he became.

By the time he reached the door to the room he was dangerously close to hyperventilating. How could he be expected to face this man so soon after he kept asking himself. He was expected to tough it out and go on with his life, he expected it of himself.

So preparing to enter the room he chanted 'feel numb, detach yourself, just forget everything,' in he head until it held no meaning, the words were jumbled, and his eyes were dull.

Just before he could gain full confidence in himself to get through this class the door to the room opened and Mr. Richards came out as if looking for the last minute stragglers to heard them into their seats before the bell rang.

Just as he thought he was getting himself under control a huge brick wall came and blocked out everything except those dark eyes set upon him. The shivers that ran through him at that moment had nothing to do with the chilliness of the hallway or the soft caress of a lover as they gazed lovingly into your eyes. These shivers were totally filled with uneasiness, discomfort, and worst of all, fear for the man in front of Harry. They seemed to radiate power and corruptness.

A smile spread across Mr. Richards' face as Harry stood there frozen to the spot.

"Come on in Mr. Potter," he spoke, not quite with the same authority that he had used the day before but it was enough to make goose bumps prickle on Harry's skin. For a moment, Harry's eyes strayed from the eyes of his teacher and scanned the hallway as though contemplating the idea of skipping this class and darting down the hallway from where he had come. An itching feeling in his feet began grating on his nerves, telling to run, and run now! On the other hand, his brain was telling his that he needed to tough it out and get into class so he does not fail this class and therefore, fail out of Hogwarts. Trapped between the two, all he could do was stand and stare.

"Get in here now, Harry," Mr. Richards spoke in a deadly calm voice, smile erased from his face and harshness laced in his voice.

Immediately, as if in a trance, Harry took steps forward and past Mr. Richards and his hungry stare, into the room full of teens.

Today, Harry knew, he was supposed to sit with his project partner for this term, Draco Malfoy. So after he enters the room his eyes immediately scanned for Draco. Quickly, he found the white blond hair that stood out so easily from the crowd and made his way towards it without hesitation. Taking his seat and placing his books on the desk he then realized that his hands were shaking. He lifted his hands from his desk and held them us to his eye level. Both pale, slim hands shook until he noticed movement to his left. He took a glace and noticed Draco Malfoy staring at him. Quickly, he put his hands down into his lap and Draco just rolled his eyes and popped his gum loudly. Focusing his attention back to the front of the room, Harry uneasily set his eyes on Mr. Richards.

"As you all know, today we will be drawing out of this hat to decide the topics for you projects. Let me remind you that these subjects are very serious and if they hit too close to home you can talk to me after class and we'll talk about a new subject. I will call your name and after you will draw from the hat. Once you have received you topic you may begin working. Pansy Parkinson, you may come up," Mr. Richards began.

Harry was tense. He had never really had a conversation with Draco let alone been expected to work with his for a months time. He didn't know what to expect, would he be rude? Would he slack off and do none of the project? Would he do the whole project alone because he though Harry would make mistakes? Would he completely ignore Harry? By the time Mr. Richards was halfway through his list Harry was a nervous wreck, and when Draco started speaking to his he almost tumbled out of his chair.

"I'll be the one to pick the subject, I don't care if he calls your name or not. I'll go up," he said in his rumbling low voice.

'He has no idea the stress he just saved me from,' Harry thought. As if on cue Mr. Richards called Harry's name and Draco rose swiftly from his seat beside Harry.

As Draco made his was to the front of the room Harry sunk lower in his seat. He took his time to observe Draco. Draco was wearing white and green Etnies, which a lot of people seemed to like this year that Harry didn't have, regular blue jeans that hugged his waist and butt snuggly and became loose at the bottom and a green Element shirt. His white blond hair was longish and shaggy and covered half of his eyes. His eyes were what caught everyone's attention. They were the color of melted steel and drew you in with a simple glance. They seemed to grow larger and more intense until the covered a good portion of your vision. At least that was what Harry though until he realized Draco had come back and was giving Harry a strange look. Instantly upon realizing this Harry averted his eyes and felt his cheeks flush pink, he could only hope it was a light pink.

"S-so," Harry stuttered. "What's our project going to be on?"

"I drew the card child molestation," Draco said, leaning back in his chair.

Harry froze and shivered. He know what child molestation was and he also know that what happened the day before with Mr. Richards sounded and awful lot like child molestation.

'But,' he thought, 'it was different. It had to be.'

It was consensual and it was for the good of his grade. If it was for the good of his grade there wasn't much he shouldn't or wouldn't do. He wouldn't betray his parents like that. And if that meant he had to suffer a little, so be it.

Harry was soon brought out of his thoughts by the platinum blond sitting next to him.

"Let's get this over with and begin brainstorming. Get out a sheet of paper so we can start writing."

Harry quickly complied, dropping his pencil only twice because of shaking hands. He eventually got himself under enough control that he had a firm grip on the pencil. He wrote the word 'Molestation' at the top of the page and made his first bullet for notes. The word looked odd in his scrawny handwriting. It popped off the page too much and looked like it was spelled wrong even though he made sure to spell it correctly. He was about to scribble over it and rewrite it when Draco Malfoy, again, brought him from his thoughts.

"Potter, don't worry about your handwriting, you can be OCD about it later. Now, were going to brainstorm as much as possible so we can get this stupid project done with quickly and painlessly. For the first bullet write down that molestation mostly occurs with children," and so on the brainstorming went, Harry adding some here and there, but Draco doing most of the thinking.

As time went on and more and more facts were written Harry began to ease up. His back began to slouch, he didn't feel as though he had to hold his stomach in, he didn't fear people hearing his uneven breath, and his face relaxed. He thought, all in all, things were going pretty well. Mr. Richards had kept his distance, grading papers at his desk and scanning the room every few minutes, and Draco was being civil to him and not making him feel like less of a person than he already felt like.

All was well, that is, until Draco mentioned something that struck a nerve with Harry and the events of the night before.

"Molestation is different from rape," Draco paused to make sure Harry was following, "Rape is when someone is completely against and unwilling to have sex with their attacker. Molestation is when the victim is convinced into believing that it's okay to be touched or used sexually. Molesters gain the trust of their victims and use the innocence of their victims to their advantage. The abused usually want to justify the abuser and their reasons for committing a sexual act together," Draco paused and looked at Harry who had this complete blank look on his face. "Did you catch that?" he asked in an arrogant tone, thinking Harry had just zoned out on him. "Do I have to go slowly and repeat myself so you can comprehend what I'm saying?" he asked, getting more aggravated.

It was then that he started to actually look at the boy sitting next to him. His raven hair looked messier than usual, patched going every which way and the ends looked split, like we needed a haircut soon. His skin was pale, making his lightning shaped scar stand out, and his cheeks were a deep rosy red. His lips were dry and cracked, pleading for chapstick. In the oversized clothes he wore everyday he looked even smaller then he actually was, and that wasn't very big to begin with. It was then that he noticed his eyes. They were will a vivid green, different then any others and somehow not the same as they usually were. There appeared to be a hazy glaze right over them as he stared into the nothingness of the tiled classroom floor. Suddenly his breathing sped up, his body started trembling and his arms crossed in front of his stomach as he doubled over. Before anyone even had him to react or call attention to the shaking boy he was out of his seat and sprawled across the floor, eyes closed and unmoving.

That was when the class went into a panic.


	5. Chapter 5

I know that I'm not supposed to be posting an author's note on fanfiction. net and that they restrict it but I feel like I need to update you, my readers. I posted an update on my bio page and sent a note to a few of my readers but couldn't send one to all of you.

It kills me that I can't write and that I can't seem to find any inspiration for my fic. I know exactly where I want this to go and how I want it to end but I can't physically sit down and write it out. I want to write more than anything right now but it's not looking like that's an option right now. I just can't motivate myself to do much of anything right now.

I'm still in the process of moving, my parents are officially now divorced and I'm still stuck in this new place where I don't want to be. I think things are just too disorganized in my life right now to focus on this fic like I want to. I guess moving isn't really an excuse anymore because it's all coming to an end soon. I'm just trying to get myself used to the idea that I'm here, my friends aren't and I have to make new friends. I feel like such a wimp for not being able to make through this without problems. My parent's divorce isn't really what's bothering me. It's the fact that now that it's official the fact that my father doesn't want me and doesn't care about me is really hitting me hard. I mean I know that he's my dad and everyone tells me that he loves me and stuff. I mean, even he tells me that he loves me but I keep wondering that if he loves me so much why does he abandon me? Why did he give his attention to his girlfriend all the time and no attention to me? Am I being selfish for wanting him to love me and for him to care about me and my feelings? Am I being selfish to want to be his little girl? Am I being selfish for wanting a dad, and not someone who shares my blood but actually cares for me and wants to be around me and know how I feel and what's going on in my life? Is it wrong to be selfish? I feel as though we'll never get those years back and he'll never be able to make it up to me. I feel as though we've lost each other and in the time we spent apart we became strangers.

I know that was a little rant about my life and my screwed up emotions but I needed to get it out and right now my friends aren't here and I need something, anything. Basically, those are my reasons for not updating the story and for not being able to write. I don't want to LTaC on hold but that's looking like what I'm going to be doing unless someone wants to take it over for me and I'll just be kinda like a beta and give you my opinions and tell you the story outline. Then I'd want to take it back over once I got my head back together. This unfortunately isn't looking like anytime soon. I'm just so messed up right now and I'm such a baby for letting all of this stuff get to me. I just need to get my anxiety, stress, and depression under control. Let me know what you want me to do. Just review and I'll let you guys decide where this goes.

I know fanfiction. net might delete my fic because I'm posting this author's note but I'm hoping no one will report me because if this gets deleted I won't be reposting it.

Anyway, I wasn't just going to post this author's note. I noticed that I forgot a disclaimer in one of the chapters so here it is.

Disclaimer: I do no own HP. I wish I did and I wish I was as brilliant as JKR but I'm not.


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